A few weeks ago, I arrived at an office a few minutes early (as per proper etiquette) for a job interview. So, I found myself sitting in the reception area waiting until the scheduled time of my interview. Now, I’m one of those people whose mind darts all over the place when they are nervously awaiting something. I see something random, fixate on it, and then my stream of consciousness goes all over the place. It’s like I’m suddenly transformed into Dory from Finding Nemo.
So, while I was sitting there waiting for my interviewer to come collect me, I had a few minutes to both a) panic and b) look around the room and notice things that I probably never would have noticed otherwise. My thought process went a little like this:
“Ugh, these heels are uncomfortable. Why did I ever think it was a good idea to buy them? Are these too “high”? Are they too shiny? Ooh, look at these hardwood floors. That’s a fun little pattern they’ve been placed in. People don’t have hardwood floors like this anymore. I wonder how old this building is. It looks old, but nicely renovated. I mean look at that furniture – it’s modern, but still traditional. I wonder how much that furniture costs. Oh, man. If I get this job, I’m going to have to buy real furniture, and I really like that chair. That side table next to it has a tiny gold Julius Caesar (I think? Or is it some other Roman? Or maybe it’s supposed to be a Greek mythological deity?) ornament on its legs.
“There’s an urn up there on that bookshelf. Clearly it’s there for decoration, but what if it has something INSIDE it? Okay, time to stop thinking about that. Look at this clock! It’s all old-fashioned and stuff. That reminds me, should I completely turn off my cell phone? Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. Goodbye, digital world.
“I wonder if anyone actually takes the mints sitting in that bowl on the receptionist’s desk. Should I take one? Probably not. I already ate two breath mints.
“Oh, this must be my interviewer! All right, self, try not to look like an awkward giraffe when you stand up in these high heels. Ahhh! Here we go.”